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Saturday, September 30, 2017

Winnipeg, MB Home Grown Star Monty Hall passes away at 96

Monty Hall, Co-Creator and Host of ‘Let’s Make a Deal,’ Dies at 96


by By DENNIS HEVESI, NYTimes.com

Monty Hall with a contestant on the game show “Let’s Make a Deal” in 1968. Credit ABC Photo Archives, via Getty Images

Monty Hall, the genial host and co-creator of “Let’s Make a Deal,” the game show on which contestants in outlandish costumes shriek and leap at the chance to see if they will win the big prize or the booby prize behind door No. 3, died at his home in Beverly Hills, Calif., on Saturday. He was 96.

A daughter, Joanna Gleason, confirmed his death. She said the cause was heart failure.

“Let’s Make a Deal” had its premiere in late 1963 and, with some interruptions, has been a television phenomenon ever since.

When Mr. Hall first roamed among the audience members who filled the “trading floor” in an NBC studio in Burbank, Calif., there was nothing zany about them.

“They came to the show in the first week in suits and dresses,” Mr. Hall told The Los Angeles Times in 2013.

Within weeks, however, things had changed.

By one account, the turning point came when a woman in the audience, vying for Mr. Hall’s attention with hopes of being chosen as a contestant, wore a bizarre-looking hat.
Continue reading the main story

Mr. Hall recalled it somewhat differently in 2013: The game changer, he said, was a woman carrying a sign that said, “Roses are red, violets are blue, I came here to deal with you.”

Whatever it was that opened the floodgates, would-be deal makers were soon showing up wearing live-bird hats, Tom Sawyer costumes or boxes resembling refrigerators. Some simply waved signs pleading, “Pick Me.”

Mr. Hall with contestants on “Let’s Make a Deal” in 1969. Credit ABC Photo Archives, via Getty Images

--more at NYTimes.com

10+ Hilarious Comics With Unexpectedly Dark Endings By ‘Perry Bible Fellowship’

By​ Greta J., Boredpanda.com

The Perry Bible Fellowship is the perfect middle between the whimsy and the morbid. And it has been since 2001 when its creator Nicholas Gurewitch drew the first strip. Nicholas describes his style as "the clarity of obscurity", and his work is a real treat to all the dark(er) souls out there.

Usually consisting of three or four panels, the comics have originated in the Syracuse University newspaper The Daily Orange. It tackles difficult topics head-on, and some of the most common themes include irony, religion, sexuality, war, science fiction, suicide, violence, and death.

"Sometimes I look at my work and think that it shows the idealism of my Dad colliding with the realism of my Mom," Gurewitch told Things In Squares. "Or, I see the idealism of my Mom colliding with the realism of my Dad. The idea of the "real" colliding with the “ideal” has been suggested to me by many artists."

#1

more at boredpanda.com

FYI

One of the few animals NOT hunted for it's skin - The 'Pubic' -hare!

RE: RIDDLE ME THIS:

If any of you clicked to find out the answer to the riddle:

"Rick stared through the dirty soot-smeared window on the 22nd floor of the office tower. Overcome with depression he slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop outside the building to the ground. Miraculously after he landed he was completely unhurt. Since there was nothing to cushion his fall or slow his descent, how could he have survived the fall?"

You were "Rickrolled" :-)***

By the way... The answer to the riddle was: "Brad was so sick and tired of window washing, he opened the window and jumped inside."

RIDDLE ME THIS:

Rick stared through the dirty soot-smeared window on the 22nd floor of the office tower. Overcome with depression he slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop outside the building to the ground. Miraculously after he landed he was completely unhurt. Since there was nothing to cushion his fall or slow his descent, how could he have survived the fall?


Click here for the answer

Friday, September 29, 2017

Would You Like Fries With That?

Where's the beef?

It's at a Pennsylvania pub that serves the world's biggest burger -
weighing in at NINE lip-smacking pounds!

That's no whopper - you can actually get this meat monster for $23.95 USD, loaded with all the fixins!

- Two whole tomatoes
- a half-head of lettuce
- 12 slices of American cheese
- a full cup of peppers
- two entire onions
- plus, a river of mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard.

KEEPING MEN ON TARGET

A talking toilet that warns men about missing their target has become a hot seller in Germany.
Talking German Toilet - "Sit! Don't Stand!"
Women fed up with men with a poor aim are reportedly particularly keen to buy the new gadget, according to the Herald Sun newspaper.

It is placed under the toilet rim and, if the seat is lifted, declares in a stern female tone:

"What are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away. You are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess."

The talking toilet is set to be sold across Europe.

A Queen Can Always Spot A Queen

Miss Thing, and Priscilla Prickme

Miss Thing, and Priscilla Prickme, two very piss elegant, but very drunk drag queens, were staggering their way home.

But, no matter how messy they were, these girls could spot a find a block away. Especially if it was glittery and possibly valuable.

As they stumbled along the street, Miss Thing noticed a gold toned compact on the sidewalk and trying oh so hard to maintain her balance, leaned down to pick it up.

She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."

Priscilla said, "Let me look."

So Miss Thing handed her the compact.

Priscilla looked in the mirror then turned to her friend and exclaimed: "You dumbass -- that's *me*!

A-mazing corn maze

A-mazing corn maze - for blondes!

I don't think I would try this one!

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Hugh Hefner

I'm sorry, you will not see an article on Hugh Hefner. I think he objectified women and encouraged men to follow his lead.

Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person as a mere object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity. Objectification is most commonly examined at the level of a society, but can also refer to the behavior of individuals.

Meet Marvin, Men's answer to Maxine !!

Marvin

Men strike back!


MarvinHow many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.


Marvin
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Marvin

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Marvin
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.


Marvin

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Marvin

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Marvin

When will Women be equal to men?
When they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Marvin

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

MarvinSend this post to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth !

AND MAXINE SAYS.. .....'MARVIN'.....

Maxine

Maxine just had to have the last word...

Famous People Players

Famous PEOPLE Players was born with the aim to reverse this limiting approach and replace it with hope and achievement. It was difficult at first, but we believed in ourselves; and soon created something incredible. If Famous PEOPLE Players had failed we would have confirmed for the disbelievers that people with disabilities can not succeed. History has unfolded differently. Famous PEOPLE Players has enabled the public, governments and corporations worldwide to look at people with disabilities in a respectful, new light. Segregation has been replaced by integration and normalization.

When you think about it, everyone has some kind of handicap -and that's what Famous PEOPLE Players is all about - overcoming obstacles and reaching for our dreams. *



*Famous People Players (http://www.fpp.org)

The Crooked Trees of Hafford

Excerpt from Post by Paulie at 4:49 PM on September 6, 2004, fat Paulie "Travel" Blog:

Apparently there's more to see in Saskatchewan than endless prairie and the great big sky. Having heard somewhere about a mysterious group of crooked aspen growing on a farm north of Saskatoon, Ben and I decided to spend a Sunday afternoon drive investigating their existence.

It took a bit of doing, and a bit of googling, but I found a map on Virtual Saskatchewan that pointed us in the general direction. We headed north at Radisson, passed Hafford (a town full of road-signs in Ukrainian or something), and turned left onto the next highway. From there, the tiny gif map failed us.

We were headed north on rural road 13 (ooh, spooky) looking for the trees halfway to Alticane. Alticane, as you should be made aware, is a group of 6 houses comprising a village. 3 of the houses seem to be occupied. It was creepy as creepy could be. Having found Alticane (after passing it the first time and seeing a dilapidated old sign on the way back), we calculated where a turn-off should be, and drove south a ways. We finally found a turn-off that looked well traveled, and another 5k down the road we looked to our right and saw a sign that read "Crooked Trees, 2 miles north, 1/2 mile west".

Having finally arrived, we were somewhat surprised at how small the grove was (no more than 50 feet in any direction), but also that all the other trees, as close as 10 meters away, were growing normally.

Nobody knows why these aspen grow this way, but they do know that animals won't go into the mini forest, and that strange lights and sights have been seen in the area.

If you're ever in this part of the world, it's a great way to spend an afternoon. Take a look for yourselves:

(Photos courtesy of Deb J)

Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford
Crooked Trees of Hafford

Heinz Deli Mayo TV Ad

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

FINALLY!!!! Sylvester catches Tweety!

Watch this until Sylvester catches Tweety...(wait for it. It's worth it)... then scroll down...
























This was an idiot test. How long did you watch?

0-2 seconds - there's hope for you
2-5 seconds - having a bad day?
5-10 seconds - are you maybe just a slow reader?
10-20 seconds - remedial classes are nothing to be ashamed of
20-30 seconds - it is recommended that you don't breed.
30 sec-1 min - you probably can't read this anyway. So why bother?
1-2 min - the equivalent of the average house plant
2-5 min - Good afternoon Mr Bush
5 min-1 hr - Dead people score in this range
1hr plus - congratulations. You have a negative IQ. To find out what your prize is, watch bugs until he finishes his carrot...

Remember to rest and sleep well...

33 Reasons to be happy...

Happy Face
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.

4. Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10. Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

11. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.

12. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

13. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

14. God must love stupid people; he made so many.

15. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

16. It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

17. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

18. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

19. MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup crew.

20. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.

21. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

22. Procrastinate Now! (I do this well)

23. My dog can lick anyone!

24. I have a degree in liberal arts; do you want fries with that?

25. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.

26. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

27. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

28. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

29. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

30. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

31. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory on your computer.

32. HAM AND EGGS -- A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

33. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

So, you think you know Canada?


Click here to Test Your Knowledge of Canada
Click above to test your knowledge!

The Wizard got a score of 14 out of 21 - Rating: "Wow! Come to work for us! "

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

The Pharmacist Joke

Rx"Condoms or Camels"

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end,
put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Lady 1: Where did you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

Phobias! A quiz you might be frightened of, if you have Testophobia!

Phobias!
What are you afraid of?

1. Stop, look and listen. Of what is agyrophobia a fear?

Crossing the street
Stinging insects
Darkness
Sour tasting food

2. King Lear suffered from agateophobia to a degree. Can you name it?

Fear of diamonds
Fear of going insane
Fear of gates
Fear of crowns

3. This was once a very real concern of many young women. Of what is anuptaphobia a fear?

Having untidy hair
Umbrellas
Unfashionable clothes
Remaining single

4. Some phobias are never ending it seems. What is apeirophobia?

Fear of noses
Fear of angels
Fear of infinity
Fear of pitchforks

5. You'll get a buzz out of this one. What is apiphobia?

Fear of butterflies
Fear of time flies
Fear of blowflies
Fear of bees

6. Oh go away you chaps, you know I suffer from arrhenphobia. Of what is this a phobia?

Fear of British accents
Fear of men
Fear of sneezing
Fear of London

7. Those of us with children are probably more inclined to this phobia than most. Of what is ataxophobia a fear?

Disorder and untidiness
The internal revenue department
Taxis
Cooking

8. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Which phobia comprises atychiphobia?

Typing
Fairy stories
Proverbs
Failure

9. Strike up the band, boys. Can you define aulophobia?

Fear of flutes
Television sets
Radios
Movie theatres

10. Finally, which of these would a sufferer of automatonophobia fear?

Laundrettes
Ventriloquist dummies
Superman
James Tiberius Kirk

Fear of bare feet
Fear of bare feet

Answers

1. Stop, look and listen. Of what is agyrophobia a fear?

Crossing the street
Agyrophobia is the belief that crossing a street will harm you in some way. This crippling phobia can so disable an individual that they will avoid any public places so set out, will avoid going to work, shopping, or any place at all that entails having to cross a road or street.

2. King Lear suffered from agateophobia to a degree. Can you name it?

Fear of going insane
Also related to maniaphobia and dementophobia, agateophobia is the fear of going insane, or of being around people with that sorrowful condition. In Act one, scene five of Shakespeare's "King Lear", we have that old, worn out king who walks away from his duties as ruler, utter the heartbreaking lines:

"O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven
Keep me in temper: I would not be mad!"

3. This was once a very real concern of many young women. Of what is anuptaphobia a fear?

Remaining single
In times gone by, many women, denied the satisfaction of earning their own money, had no choice but to marry or starve. If the fear of remaining single grew too much to bear, it was known as anuptaphobia. Sometimes though the cure was worse than the disease. It could of course also effect males, but one imagines that would be rather rare. Anuptaphobia's opposite fear is gamophobia, which is the fear of marriage.

4. Some phobias are never ending it seems. What is apeirophobia?

Fear of infinity
Also connected negatively to thanatophobia (the fear of dying), apeirophobia is the fear of infinity or eternity, of just going on and on and on without end. Think though of the knowledge that could be amassed, the universes that could be explored, the joy of being alive for ever and ever - oh, sorry. Phobias are definitely no laughing matter.

5. You'll get a buzz out of this one. What is apiphobia?

Fear of bees
This is one phobia that could be fairly safe to guess the answer going by its prefix, as in apiary etc. The fear of bees, or at least of being stung by one, is a rather common-sense one to a degree, but for those who suffer from apiphobia - also known as melissaphobia - the sight of those beautiful little buzzing creatures going about their daily business of gathering nectar does nothing but fill them with terror.

6. Oh go away you chaps, you know I suffer from arrhenphobia. Of what is this a phobia?

Fear of men
Also known as androphobia, arrhenphobia is a very real fear of men, either generally or in particular. This phobia, like all phobias, can send its sufferers into massive panic attacks whenever near one of those creatures who make up fifty per cent of the world's population.

7. Those of us with children are probably more inclined to this phobia than most. Of what is ataxophobia a fear?

Disorder and untidiness
I think I suffer from this phobia. I first noticed its onset, doctor, when my children became teenagers and I needed a machete to get into their rooms. Like all phobias, however, this is no laughing matter and an untidy mess can cause great mental anguish for those who suffer from it. They simply cannot function properly when surrounded by a mess.

8. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Which phobia comprises atychiphobia?

Failure
This phobia must be a terrible one to have to endure in our world of ever increasing pressures to achieve success in any field. Like all phobias, its sufferers, with the aid of behaviour or cognitive therapy, can be taught, if not to overcome the disorder, than to keep it within manageable boundaries.

9. Strike up the band, boys. Can you define aulophobia?

Fear of flutes
This deep rooted fear of flutes can cause great mental distress in a surprising number of people. It's intriguing why flutes have been singled out in such a way, and not other musical instruments - although there's probably a phobia for each one of them as well. Psychologists say this phobia can be dealt with to a manageable degree in a quite reasonable amount of time.

10. Finally, which of these would a sufferer of automatonophobia fear?

Ventriloquist dummies
Not only do those with automatonophobia fear ventriloquist dummies, they can also suffer panic and anxiety attacks from statues or any other man made object that is meant to represent a thinking, feeling, speaking human or other being. They freak them out terribly. Really, when one considers it objectively, a ventriloquist dummy IS rather alarming. That mouth for a start - and those staring, staring eyes. Frightening!

How well did you do? Put your score in the comments!

The Ideal Penis Size


From The End of the penis size debate, what women know and men don't


Obviously, penises come in all kind of combinations of length versus girth. This leads us to the final and most important point: where do you fit on the scale of women's preference? What does she think about your penis?

For the vast majority of women a man's penis will fall in one of the following categories (applying the previous definitions of small, big etc. for length and girth):
(more info on the definitions click here)

A: ideal (perfect)
B: very satisfying but not ideal
C: satisfying
D: enjoyable
E: not satisfying = too small in length and girth, or too big in length and girth or any odd combination of small and big

Penis Size Preference Chart (updated!)

The Penis Size preference Chart is a graph showing virtually all the possible combinations of penis length and penis girth in ¼ inch intervals. For each combination it lists the matching grade of women's preference (A to E), stating its ability to satisfy the average woman.

To use the chart just locate your penis length and circumference (girth) along the axis. Where both meet you will find your penis grade.
NOTE:
The penis size chart has been updated to incorporate the opinions of the enormous amount of women that have sent comments to this site and to me personally.


Penis preference size
Click on the image to make it bigger ;-)

Examples (extrapolated from the above chart)
  • At 5½ inches long by 7 inches around you will be enjoyable (too short but very thick) = D.
  • At 8 inches long by 5 inches around you are again enjoyable but not satisfying (big in length but on the small side for girth) = D.
  • At 7½ inches long by 6 inches around you are very satisfying but not ideal (big in length but just over average in girth) = B.
  • At 6 long by 5½ around you are on the borderline of being enjoyable and satisfying. Many girls might not be satisfied. It is a borderline C.
  • At 5 inches long by 4½ around you are classified E: not satisfying
  • At 11½ inches long by 9 around you will get an E from most women for being simply oversized!
Note: Let it be clear that the majority of men will fall in the lower-left D and C brackets. Grade-A penises are probably occurring in less than 10% of men.

Never lose out of sight that having an ideal penis alone is not what most women will look for. The vast majority will prefer a nice decent looking man with a grade B or C penis (and some cash!) above a bum with a grade A penis.

But let's say someone has a borderline C graded penis as in the example above. Chances are the average girl is ok with this. She might even tell him that his penis is perfect. After all, there are many men with smaller penises than that, in length as well as in girth. But if she could choose between him and an exact clone of his (same character etc.) except with a grade B penis as in the above example, who do you really think she will choose? Deep in her heart, no normal girl will choose for the smaller guy. More about this later on.

Ugly Penis - Pretty Penis: freak! What about penis "looks"?

The degrees in the above chart rate only the size aspect of a penis. Another rating could be established for the pure esthetical aspect, making things more complicated. A penis can be rated A for size but can be very ugly to look at for a woman. Or it can get a C for size and very pretty for the girl.

Women say the looks are determined by the looks of the whole package:
  • the proportions, i.e. the size of the testicles versus the penis
  • the way it hangs when flaccid and stands when erect
  • the curve of the penis
  • the penis shape
  • the color, texture and evenness of the skin
  • the penis' muscularity (veins)
  • the way the testicles are attached to the penis
  • the way the whole thing is attached to your body
Seriously overweight guys tend to get automatically less points in this department. Uncircumcised penises are usually considered less attractive, especially when the foreskin extends past the end of the penis. In addition, many women claim that long thick pubic hair makes a penis less attractive and say that guys should trim it a bit. As a man it is hard to see how trimming could make a difference to the charisma of your genitals. Rather than trying to understand why, just consider that most men also prefer their woman nicely trimmed or even completely shaven around the vagina, so that probably explains their point of view.

The Back Pew

The Back Pew by Jeff Larson

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.

After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary.

A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'

The entire congregation said, 'Amen.'

Monday, September 25, 2017

Luggage Safe

With all the theft from airline luggage now and motel housekeeping going through your luggage while you are out, this product will deter those thieves. Just place your valuables inside and travel while feeling secure.