Food allergy vs. food intolerance
Food allergy: An allergic reaction to a food triggered by the immune system. It can cause serious health problems and even death. Note: If you have a food allergy and emergency epinephrine (adrenalin) is recommended by your doctor, keep it with you at all times. Wear a medical alert bracelet or carry information that identifies your food allergies.
Food intolerance: An adverse reaction to a food that leads to unpleasant, but not life-threatening, symptoms. It does not involve an immune system reaction.
"Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy."
Never frown, because you never know who may be falling in love with your smile.
Add Fitness to your Daily Routine
1. If you find you can't devote enough time to getting in shape as you would like, there are still plenty of ways you can keep your body active while going about your normal routine.
2. Try to use stairways instead of elevators whenever possible.
3. If you can walk there or take a bike, let your body burn energy instead of taking your car.
4. If you are driving, instead of wasting time looking for a good spot, park further away and walk a couple extra blocks.
5. Turn your housework into a fitness challenge: Sweep and mop using as much energy as possible, exaggerating your arm movements. Fold your clothes and do a couple sets of squats at the same time. Whatever you're doing try and incorporate in some sort of routine that gets your muscles working and heart rate moving.
6. And if you absolutely can't miss your favorite show on TV, try doing some sit-ups and push-ups while you watch or during commercials.
Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, if you capture it against it's will, you will kill it, but if you set your mind on other things, it might just come and sit gently on your shoulder.
"How do you know so much about everything?" was asked of a very wise and intelligent man; and the answer was, "By never being afraid or ashamed to ask questions as to anything of which I was ignorant."
-- John Abbott, 19th century Canadian Prime Minister
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Food allergy vs. food intolerance
An old Ukrainian about 80 years old lived alone in Winnipeg. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.
His only son, Walter, who used to help him, was in prison in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Don’t dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
At 4 a.m. the next morning, RCMP and local Winnipeg police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son:
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
by Sergei Shevchenko, PC Tools
Hackers use telecoms systems (such as email) to catch sensitive information from the victims by setting up baits. These are heavily reliant on social engineering tricks to fool people into believing that the received electronic communication is authentic and trustworthy.
In a typical phishing scam, the person receives an email disguised as an official email from PayPal, eBay or their online bank. The email asks them to follow the forged link and enter details into the hacker’s web site, which is disguised to look authentic. The hacker may then log on to the victim’s account by using the details, change the password to lock the victim out from their own account, and transfer their money into so-called ‘drops’, bank accounts used by money-laundering criminal groups.
Why have phishing scams grown so fast?
The internet is growing rapidly. People who are new to it are not aware of the risks. In fact, many blindly trust everything they receive. Cyber-crooks can camouflage malicious activity by hiding their true identity and intentions.
There are no regulations against fraudulent web sites, and very often they are hosted by fraudulent internet service providers. It takes time for the security community to shut them down, so there is always a window of opportunity for phishers.
What is the best way to protect myself?
If someone contacts you, and you are willing to respond, contact them using alternative means. For example, if PayPal, eBay or your bank asks you to log on to resolve a dispute, clarify a transaction or renew your details, give them a phone call.
*Windows Vista Magazine Online
Monday, September 29, 2008
One day Jim was sick and stayed home in bed, but kept hearing water running somewhere downstairs. He finally tore himself from his bed to investigate and stumbled onto the cause of such high water bills.
Apparently this was happening all day long when they were not at home.
Knowing that few would believe him, he taped a segment of the 'problem' for posterity
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
A guy found a penguin and showed him to a policeman.
The policeman said, "Take that penguin to the zoo, now."
Next day the policeman sees the man with the penguin again.
The policeman stops the guy and says, I told you yesterday to take the penguin to the Zoo, what on earth are you doing with the penguin in your truck again?"
The guy says, "What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and today I'm taking him to the movies."
Confucius say: “Beans in sandy soil causes Dust in the Wind”
A city slicker moves to the country and decides he’s going to take up farming.
He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, “Give me a hundred baby chickens.”
The co-op man complies. A week later the man returns and says, “Give me two hundred baby chickens.” The co-op man complies.
Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, “Give me five-hundred baby chickens.” “Wow! The co-op man replies “You must really be doing well!”
“Naw,” said the man with a sigh. “I’m either planting them too deep or too far apart!”
Q. How does Bill Gates enter his house?
A. He uses "windows". (Lame one)
Dwayne the tub I'm drowning! (Even Lamer!)
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.”
The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.”
Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!”
“I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”
Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!”
There is one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
Sunday, September 28, 2008
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The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way ?'
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, ' did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?'
1. Tires are 5% to 10% more expensive. (USA Today)
2. Some schools may cut back on field trips. (News & Observer, North Carolina)
3. Some schools are considering route changes that would create longer walks to the bus stop, raising safety concerns. (The Gazette, Maryland)
4. Robot aircraft look even more attractive to the military. (Department of Defense/American Forces Press Service)
5. Workers who use their cars on the job are getting a better break from the IRS. (Baltimore Sun)
6. United Airlines will furlough about 950 pilots. (WSJ)
7. Pizza delivery charges are rising. (Pacific Business News)
8. Kangaroo harvesters are seeking alternative careers. (Australian Broadcasting Corp.)
9. Chartering a fishing boat is getting pricier. (AP)
10. Learning to drive? Plan on paying a surcharge. (Petoskey News-Review)
11. Squid fishermen are angry. (AFP)
12. Gas theft is on the rise in California’s San Joaquin Valley. (Fresno Bee)
13. Youth softball teams are cutting back on travel to tournaments. (WHSV-TV)
14. The price of road salt for next winter’s storms is rising. (Peoria Journal Star)
15. Community colleges are cutting Friday classes. (USA Today)
16. If you get caught speeding in Holly Springs, Ga., the ticket will cost you $12 more. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
17. School lunch prices are going up. (MSNBC)
18. NASCAR teams are spending more–and fretting about whether crowds will avoid traveling to races. (Sacramento Bee)
19. Golf-cart regulation becomes a subject of debate in Indiana. (UPI)
20. College football fans are rethinking their plans to travel to watch their favorite teams. (Topeka Capital-Journal)
21. Elgin, Ill., is getting a new wind-turbine parts plant. (Chicago Tribune)
22. Bacon and ham could get more expensive. (WSJ)
23. Some U.S. cities could lose their commercial airline service. (New York Times)
24. Dallas-area residents are paying more to get rid of their garbage. (WFAA-TV)
25. Air travelers get charged to check their bags. (New York Times)
26. Demand for certain types of planes is growing. (Financial Post)
27. Railroads see a growth opportunity. (WSJ)
28. Demand for wine is weakening. (Portland Business Journal)
29. Commuters are changing their ways. (Chicago Tribune)
30. We’re not seeing our family and friends as much, at least according to one poll. (Business Wire via MarketWatch)
31. U.S. federal researchers cut back on ocean-going trips to study climate change. (AP)
32. One Virginia library mulls bringing back the bookmobile. (Daily Times, Maryland)
33. Gas rage. (Orange County Register)
34. Japan girds for a sashimi shortage. (AFP)
35. Some police departments put officers on foot. (USA Today)
36. A Montana high school basketball conference scraps its annual tournament in favor of playoffs. (AP via Missoulian, Montana)
37. Driver who have their cars confiscated in Philadelphia pay $15 more for towing fee. (KYW-TV)
38. Yes, we have no cheap bananas today. (WSJ)
39. Sending a bouquet of flowers costs more. (Press-Enterprise, California)
40. Volunteer fire departments want more donations. (KSWO-TV)
41. Churches around Bowling Green, Ky., are seeing more requests for assistance, reduced collections and lower attendance for some services. (Daily News, Kentucky)
42. Home health care services raise the minimum time for a visit. (Rapid City Journal, South Dakota)
43. The French navy decided to cancel some exercises. (AP)
44. Students at Texas Tech University must endure longer waits for campus buses. (Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, Texas)
45. Truckers struck in Chile, causing shortages of food. (Bloomberg)
46. More people in Boston are riding the “T.” (WCVB-TV)
47. A company offers gas-price hedging for consumers. (AutoWeek)
48. Sugar futures are up. (MarketWatch)
49. Meals on Wheels programs are losing volunteers. (AP via Boston Globe)
50. Indie music fans are out of luck due to some bands canceling tours and staying home. (AP)
(New York City) Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad continues to insist there are no gays in Iran, but says if there were they would not be prosecuted as long as they were closeted.
Ahmadinejad caused a stir last year during a speech at Columbia University when he declared there were no homosexuals in Iran.
“In Iran we don’t have homosexuals like you do in your country. We do not have this phenomenon. I don’t know who’s told you that we have it,” Ahmadinejad said at the time.
Tuesday night the Iranian president was questioned about the controversial remarks by CNN’s Larry King.
“I said it is not the way it is here. In Iran this is considered a very - obviously, most people dislike it. And we have, actually, a law regarding it and the law is enforced,” he told King.
Ahmadinejad went on to claim “we do pay attention that in Iran nobody interferes in the private lives of individuals. We have nothing to do with the private realm of people. This is at the - non-private, public morality. In their own house, nobody ever interferes.”
Ahmadinejad was in New York where he spoke at the United Nations earlier on Tuesday, declaring that the “American empire in the world is reaching the end of its road,” and denouncing Israel.
Iran’s persecution of gays has been documented by exiles and international rights groups.
Last year in a meeting between Iranian and British parliamentarians, a high ranking Iranian politician for the first time acknowledged that the Islamic state upholds the death penalty for homosexuality.
The disclosure was made in private but appeared in minutes of the meeting obtained by The Times newspaper.
Iranian law provides punishments up to death for penetrative same-sex sexual activity between men on the first conviction, and punishes non-penetrative activity with up to 100 lashes.
Homosexual conduct between women is punishable with death on the fourth conviction. Iran’s Penal Code requires four reiterated confessions, or the testimony of four “righteous men” as eyewitnesses, to prove lavat, or sodomy. However, judges are permitted to accept circumstantial evidence or inference.
Some international gay rights groups believe that more than 4,000 lesbians and gay men have been executed since the Ayatollahs seized power in 1979.
In 2005, two young men were hanged in a public square in northern Iran after they allegedly were found guilty of homosexuality. The government claimed they had been convicted of kidnapping and raping a male teen.
Hundreds of others have been rounded up and allegedly imprisoned, many of them as a result of raids on private homes. None of the allegations has been confirmed by independent sources.
*By 365gay Newscenter Staff
BERLIN (Reuters Life!) - Hundreds of Germans flocked to the Berlin zoo on Tuesday to mourn the sudden death of the popular zookeeper who raised celebrity polar bear Knut.
"I have been visiting Knut at least once a week since his birth in December 2006," said Berliner Baerbel Roemer, as she laid down flowers in memory of zookeeper Thomas Doerflein at Knut's enclosure.
"Doerflein is one of a kind and I can't describe how sad I am," she said.
Doerflein, who shot to fame as Knut's surrogate father after the tiny cub's mother Tosca rejected him at birth, was found dead in his Berlin apartment near the zoo on Monday.
The 44-year old zookeeper with a thick black beard won the admiration of many in Germany and abroad when he stayed with the polar bear around the clock for 150 straight days, handfeeding the cub milk and porridge through the nights.
A modest man who had worked in the Berlin Zoo for about 28 years, Doerflein said he had received love letters and propositions from female fans after he became Knut's "dad."
"I wrote a letter to express my grief," said crying teenager Jennifer Hennig, standing by a collection of cards and flowers near the enclosure where Knut, now a burly grown bear, paced around.
"I didn't know Thomas personally, but he became somewhat of a friend to me. It hurts when you lose a friend," Hennig said.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helpthe other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this, pointing out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him.
Hearing sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, he finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying.
He asks the old monk what's wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply, "The word is celebrate."
He had several hundred young layers
(hens), called 'pullets',
and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records,
and any rooster not performing
went into the soup pot
and was replaced.
This took a lot of time,
so he bought some tiny bells
and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone
so he could tell from a distance,
which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch
And fill out an efficiency report
by just listening to the bells.
John's favorite rooster, old Butch,
was a very fine specimen,
but this morning he noticed
old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
When he went to investigate,
he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets,
bells-a-ringing, but the pullets,
hearing the roosters coming,
could run for cover.
To John's amazement,
old Butch had his bell in his beak,
so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up on a pullet,
do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch,
he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair
and he became an overnight sensation
among the judges.
The result was the judges
not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize
but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician could figure out
how to win two of the most highly coveted awards
on our planet by being the best
at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them
when they weren't paying attention.
Vote carefully this year,
the bells are not always audible.
As you know, Hidden Frontier has long supported GLBT rights and education about issues that effect the community.
This year, marriage was legalized for all same-sex couples in California. Our society has not crumbled as a result and millions are happy to have the same rights straight couples have always enjoyed. Indeed, Hidden Frontier's own JT Tepnapa and Adam Browne were married in August and George Takei (Sulu) was married in September.
But this November, people with an agenda against the gay community have placed Proposition 8 on the California ballot. It would enshrine discrimination against same-sex marriage in our state's Constitution.
I ask every US citizen who has been touched by Hidden Frontier to please consider a donation to one of the following websites that are fighting Proposition 8. We need your help more than ever. Please let us know if you do (privately if you prefer).
The Human Rights Campaign Fund
The Equality California Campaign against Proposition 8
WESTPORT, Conn. - (AP) - Paul Newman, the Academy-Award winning superstar who personified cool as an activist, race car driver, popcorn impresario and the anti-hero of such films as "Hud," "Cool Hand Luke" and "The Color of Money," has died. He was 83.
Newman died Friday after a long battle with cancer at his farmhouse near Westport, publicist Jeff Sanderson said. He was surrounded by his family and close friends.
In May, Newman he had dropped plans to direct a fall production of "Of Mice and Men," citing unspecified health issues.
He got his start in theater and on television during the 1950s, and went on to become one of the world's most enduring and popular film stars, a legend held in awe by his peers. He was nominated for Oscars 10 times, winning one regular award and two honorary ones, and had major roles in more than 50 motion pictures, including "Exodus," "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," "The Verdict," "The Sting" and "Absence of Malice."
Newman worked with some of the greatest directors of the past half century, from Alfred Hitchcock and John Huston to Robert Altman, Martin Scorsese and the Coen brothers. His co-stars included Elizabeth Taylor, Lauren Bacall, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and, most famously, Robert Redford, his sidekick in "Butch Cassidy" and "The Sting."
He sometimes teamed with his wife and fellow Oscar winner, Joanne Woodward, with whom he had one of Hollywood's rare long-term marriages. "I have steak at home, why go out for hamburger?" Newman told Playboy magazine when asked if he was tempted to stray. They wed in 1958, around the same time they both appeared in "The Long Hot Summer," and Newman directed her in several films, including "Rachel, Rachel" and "The Glass Menagerie."
--Link back to Tribute.ca--
Thanks to Erwin for providing me with the following information:
STARS PAID TO PROMOTE LUCKY STRIKE - 1937/8
Actor = US$ paid (2008 equivalent)
Gary Cooper = 10,000 (146,583)
Joan Crawford = 10,000 (146,583)
Henry Fonda = 3,000 (43,975)
Clark Gable = 10,000 (146,583)
Bob Hope = 2,500 (36,646)
Gertrude Lawrence = 1,750 (25,652)
Carole Lombard = 10,000 (146,583)
Myrna Loy = 10,000 (146,583)
Fred MacMurray = 6,000 (87,950)
Ray Milland = 2,000 (29,317)
George Raft = 3,000 (43,975)
Edward Robinson = 3,000 (43,975)
Barbara Stanwyck = 10,000 (146,583)
Gloria Swanson = 1,500 (21,988)
Robert Taylor = 10,000 (146,583)
Spencer Tracy = 10,000 (146,583)
Source: Tobacco Control 2008
Brain freeze, primarily known as ice cream headache, but also cold headache, shakeache, frigid face, freezie, frozen brain syndrome, cold-stimulus headache, or its given scientific name sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia (meaning "nerve pain of the sphenopalatine ganglion"), is a form of brief cranial pain or headache commonly associated with consumption (particularly quick consumption) of cold beverages or foods such as ice cream.
An editorial was published in the British Medical Journal on ice cream headache; it referenced several articles on the effect of rapid consumption of cold foods or beverages. It has been studied as an example of referred pain, an unpleasant sensation localized to an area separate from the site of the painful stimulation.
The effect occurs when something very cold, such as ice cream, touches the top palate in the mouth. The blood vessels constrict due to the cold. This makes the nerves send a signal to the brain to open blood vessels. But this rapid opening of the blood vessels makes fluid back up in the tissues that won't drain for thirty seconds to a minute. This causes a little swelling in the forehead that hurts a lot.
It has been estimated that one in three people experience ice cream headache from consumption of ice cream. Some studies suggest that it is more common in people who experience migraines; other studies have shown the opposite. Experiments have shown that frozen yogurt, which will generally maintain a more liquid state than traditional ice cream at lower temperatures, will trigger ice cream headache in test subjects more readily than dairy ice cream, cold drinks or ice.
The term "Brainfreeze" has been trademarked by 7-Eleven.
Friday, September 26, 2008
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.
The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading.
A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.
A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.
As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
The woman nodded, "Pepper."
*Thanks, again, Daryn!
"I just wanted to tell everyone that I was just fired from my work at subway because I have done gay porn. A customer said they wouldn't even eat there at subway anymore because of my past work and said that if I wasn't fired then they would boycott the store. What I say is, if one person can try to ruin me everywhere I work... maybe I should take a stand and boycott their store too if they can't let people's privacy be treated right. I should have the right to work anywhere I can and it isn't right or fair that people can keep me from working simply because of a "gay" issue. If a girl did what we do it would probably be ok.. and if a guy does straight porn.. he is bragged about. When I do gay porn, I feel a bit lynched for the rest of my life. Not right. Thanks for reading."
--Gay, adult video actor Kurt Wild, in a posting to fans on his Yahoo Group.
' Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'
'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'
Later that night the littl e girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.'
The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?
'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'
'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'
A blonde was weed-whacking her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat, which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to Wal-Mart!
Why Wal-Mart? HELLOOOOOOOOO?!
Wal-Mart is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
By NEKESA MUMBI MOODY
NEW YORK (AP) — The revelation that Clay Aiken is gay hasn't fazed Simon Cowell.
The "American Idol" judge reacted in typically sarcastic form, telling the entertainment news show "Extra": "Wow. That's a shock. It's like being told Santa Claus isn't real. Unbelievable."
Getting serious, Cowell said: "Good for him. If he said it, it's the right thing for him. ... I don't think anyone cares. Let's face it. It's 2008. You know. Who cares?"
The 29-year-old former "Idol" runner-up, multiplatinum recording artist and Broadway star acknowledges his sexuality in an interview with People magazine. He appears on the cover of the latest issue holding his infant son, Parker Foster Aiken, conceived by in-vitro fertilization with friend and producer Jaymes Foster. The headline: "Yes, I'm Gay."
Cowell representative Anne Finn said he was unreachable for further comment Wednesday. His fellow "Idol" judges were not able to be reached: Paula Abdul's spokesman, Jeff Ballard, said she was unavailable, and Randy Jackson's representative, Brit Reece, didn't immediately return phone and e-mail messages.
Cowell might not bat an eyelash, but Aiken's hardcore fans — known as Claymates — are taking the news very seriously. As of Wednesday afternoon, there were reportedly more than 2,000 entries on the message board for Aiken's official Web site.
"We'll `talk' more later, but, suffice it to say, for the first time in recent memory, I am speechless," Aiken writes on his Web site's fan page ClayOnline, according to People. "I'm so proud to know and love all of you."
To read Aiken's newest blog and post a message, the site requires you to join his fan club. Membership fees range from $14.99 plus tax to $29.99, plus shipping and handling for a Clay Aiken tote bag, lip balm and set of Clay Aiken buttons.
Meanwhile, the Aiken fan site ClayManiacs was open for viewing. Response in a thread on the site's "ShoutBox" was generally supportive, though at least one fan was shaken by Aiken's public confession.
"This is really shocking news as I had no idea he was gay," read a comment posted by "Sheridansq." "And now I have to deal with this. I am not sure what to say to people who know I was a fan. ... I didn't go to work today and am not answering the telephone."
In his People interview, Aiken credits baby Parker with making him realize that he could no longer hide his homosexuality from the world. The magazine cover features Aiken holding his son, who was born in August.
"It was the first decision I made as a father," Aiken told the magazine, which arrives on newsstands Friday. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that."
Kevin Jennings, executive director of the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, said he hopes Aiken's announcement will help promote tolerance for families headed by gay parents.
"If you're gay, once you have a kid, it's everybody's business, whether you want it to be or not," Jennings said. "All of our members who are gay parents say that what they didn't anticipate was as soon as they had a kid, staying in the closet was impossible. Because what do you say when you go to parents' night?"
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation also applauded Aiken's public admission.
"We congratulate Clay for making this decision and for setting an example for others and his family," said Neil Giuliano, GLAAD's president. "As we're seeing, more and more gay people, including celebrities, are living openly and honestly, and this has tremendous impact in terms of creating awareness, understanding and acceptance."
Aiken, who rose to fame on "Idol" in 2003, has long been the subject of rumors and tabloid fodder that he was gay, but usually refused to acknowledge them. In an interview with The Associated Press two years ago, he said of the talk, "I don't really feel like I have anybody to answer to but myself and God and the people I love."
Aiken said he only told his family that he was gay four years ago. He recalled a tearful discussion with his mother in a car after dropping off his brother, who was being sent to Iraq, at a military base.
"It was dark. I was sitting there, thinking to myself. I don't know why I started thinking about it ... I just started bawling. She made me pull over the car and it just came out," he said. "She started crying. She was obviously somewhat stunned. But she was very supportive and very comforting."
Aiken, who considers himself a born-again Christian, said he knows he may turn off some fans with his admission and his decision to have a child outside traditional marriage.
"I've never intended to lie to anybody at all," he said. "But if they leave, I don't want them to leave hating me."
Aiken recently released the CD "On My Way Here." He made his Broadway debut in January in "Monty Python's Spamalot" and left in May. He has since rejoined the show as the perpetually petrified Sir Robin, one of three roles he plays in the musical.
Copyright © 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved
Click Above Then choose 'Current Strip'.
Let’s face it. Personal trauma and tragedy – like illness or injury, death of a loved one, loss of a job, or an unexpected breakup of a relationship – are unavoidable. The question is: Will these private calamities erode our capacity to be happy or help us become stronger and better able to live a meaningful and fulfilling life?
Consider how differently carrots, eggs, and coffee beans are affected by the extreme adversity of being boiled.
Like the carrot, adversity can soften us. We can emerge more flexible, understanding, compassionate, and grateful or we can let our life spirit turn into a soft mush. Like the egg, the boiling water can make us harder, stronger, tougher, and wiser or we can become more cynical, pessimistic, callous, and inaccessible. And like the coffee bean, we can willingly transform our lives into something better or simply lose ourselves completely.
We can’t control what happens to us, but we have a lot to say about how we react and, therefore, what happens in us. The first step to turning adversity into advantage is to get out of the hot water as quickly as possible. Don’t dwell on catastrophe. Grieve, but move on. Don’t define your life by misfortune.
Second, force yourself to move forward. Draw on inner strengths, the people who love you, and your faith to help you transform your life into something better. Formulate a vision of a more purposeful life filled with people and experiences that will help you become more fulfilled.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
This is AWESOME....something we should all remember.
A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'
'That doesn' t have anything to do with it,' he replied.
'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank.
I am still depositing.' Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Some of the paint jobs cost $15,000 and had to be repeated every 3 months as the cat's hair grows out.
Must be nice to have $60,000 a year just to keep your cat painted.
And people wonder why cats sometimes attack their owners.
*Thanks, Bright eyes