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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Heaven and Hell

A heterosexual man and his gay friend were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. They remembered dying, and that the gay friend walking beside him had been dead for years.



He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.

It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill it was broke by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the gay friend walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.



When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his gay friend, "come in, too?" the traveller asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept gays."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his gay friend.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to the gay friend.

"There should two cups by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a two cups beside it.

The traveller filled a cup and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the gay friend. When they were full, he and the gay friend walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveller asked. "This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveller said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

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