Friday, April 30, 2004
So, here are 100 reasons to be gay. How many can you own up to?
This one is for all who:
a) have kids
b) had kids
c) was a kid
d) know a kid!
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
*Thanks Pammy =)
If its under warranty, let them do it.
Attempting to troubleshoot your own computer can be a real nightmare. After awhile, you feel like trading your screwdriver for a sledge hammer. I know. I've been there. Before trying to troubleshoot, you must keep a few things in mind:
Beta software: Remember that this software is beta because it still has bugs. Some problems may be the result of this.
Jerry-Rigging: If you have built some strange setup on your computer to "make due", this could result in a problem.(i.e., short cables, missing screws)
Viruses: Scan for viruses. Some of them can do some nasty things.
Here is a list of the current troubleshooting articles:
Check this one thing first
by Justin Shin 8/2/2003
A problem/solution type article for some common networking problems.
by David Risley 4/22/2003
by David Risley 3/30/2001
Some basic steps you should take before contacting any tech support.
by David Risley 3/23/2001
A look at some of the common Windows errors and what they mean.
Thursday, April 29, 2004
(Ottawa) The Canadian government passed legislation Wednesday to include sexuality in the country's hate-crimes law but the gay politician who introduced the measure was not around to savor the victory.
Physical attacks based on sexuality are already illegal in Canada, but, until now gays were not including in a separate act that protects minorities against "promotion of hate" speech.
That the bill ever made it to the floor of the House of Commons was something of a miracle. The legislation was not proposed by the government, but came as a Private Members Bill by New Democrat Svend Robinson. That it was passed by the Commons was considered nothing short of a miracle.
But, Robinson remained in seclusion Wednesday following his announcement he would not seek re-election after a shoplifting scandal involving an expensive engagement ring he wanted to give his longtime boyfriend.
The Senate Wednesday gave final approval to the measure. Throughout its march toward passage the legislation was the subject of heated debate in Parliament and the focus of intense criticism and lobbying by conservative religious groups that maintained it would prevent them from preaching homosexuality is wrong.
The Canadian Association of Chiefs of Police and the Canadian Professional Police Association supported the bill.
Under the new law people who incite violence against gays and lesbians would be subject to fines or imprisonment.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer : Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer : Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer : The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions, correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
(No doubt Anderson were at the meeting with the other crocodiles -- The Wizard)
Above: Hanks welcomes the emir of Qatar, Sheikh Hamad al-Thani, to the Oval Office.
"We're thrilled to have Tom sitting at the president's desk this week," White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Tuesday. "It's truly an honor that this beloved star and two-time Oscar winner took time from his busy schedule to guest-lead the nation. It's been a lot of fun so far, and we have even more great meetings lined up for the next couple days, so make sure to check the news."
It's the first guest-president gig for Hanks, who took the reins Monday, but McClellan said the actor's political inexperience is not a liability. Citing Hanks' "amiable yet commanding presence" and "seamless interfacing with diverse policymakers and diplomats," McClellan characterized the Hollywood insider as a "born leader."
"Some guest presidents breeze into a cabinet meeting or state dinner thinking they can get by on star power—and generally, they can," McClellan said. "But Tom's unique, low-key, everyman persona sets him apart from the others. It endears him to everyone he meets, from the high-level diplomat to the Minority Whip."
Jill: There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.
John: Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous.
Jill: I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.
John: You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?
Jill: In the pool.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Click here for more...
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
The Earth Woman goes with the Martian guy and when they are naked the Woman looks to Martian's Penis and is 1 inch long and not very thick.. She says" You know I do not think will work!
He said: why?
She: Well is not long enough..
Now the Martian guy is starts hitting his forhead and guess what? His penis was growing in length with half of inch for every hit of his forhead until it reaches 12 inches..
She:Wow you see is good but still kind of thin..
Him: Starts now to pull his ears...and evey time he pulls his ears his penis was growing in diameter of 1/4of inch..
She was very pleased...
Next day she asked her Earth man how it was..
He said: well was fine but I have a headache and my ears are hurting because I do not know WHY, but the Martian woman was keep pulling my ears and hitting my forhead...
Monday, April 26, 2004
The chemical has all the firefighting properties of water, yet it will not cause the damage to items that is usually associated with water.
As part of a demonstration, Pelton submerged several items into a tank of Sapphire that was on the Good Morning America set. Books did not get wet. Electronics were not be destroyed. Items that were submerged in the liquid were dried in a matter of seconds, and showed no ill effects according to Charles Gibson, Diane Sawyer and other members of the Good Morning America staff who saw items plunged into it.
Charles Gibson/Good Morning America: "It looks like water, but it's not."
The Ansul Sapphire Fire Suppression System would automatically spray the chemical out of a building's sprinkler system when a fire is detected.
Dave Pelton/Tyco Fire and Security: "This material would protect various artifacts, collections. You could use it in museums, libraries, places of cultural property."
There was a substance that had similar properties produced in the past, but that fire suppression liquid was damaging the ozone layer. The new substance by Tyco is supposed to be environmentally safe.
(© 2004 by WPVI-TV 6 and ABC News. All rights reserved.)
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Mark's paintings instantly trigger a warped deja vu. His work recalls a parallel universe of 1950s Golden Books and the whimsy of Lewis Carroll. His cheery bunnies, rendered in the glowing hues of children’s books, are likely to be carving slabs of meat rather than frolicking in the forest. Ryden’s work mingles superb technique with outre images to create a world of strange and disturbing beauty. “At once intriguing and unsettling, baffling and enchanting, [Ryden’s] works ... are subtle amalgams of many sources and influences as wide-ranging as Psychedelic and Vienna School artists Neon Park and Ernst Fuchs, to classical French formalists Ingres and David.” --Rick Gilbert-Panik
The Volvo XC90 made of LEGO bricks was built by LEGO Master Model Builders, members of an elite team of talented artists who design, create and maintain the thousands of LEGO brick models at LEGOLAND California.
"By encouraging safety as a learned behavior at an early age, we all benefit - it's never too early to learn about the rules of the road," said Doolan, (President and CEO of Volvo Cars of North America).
Saturday, April 24, 2004
One legend holds that Judy Garland's funeral, held June 27, 1969, in Manhattan, fanned the flames of gay rage. Other versions of the story claim that dozens of sequined drag queens and a mysterious, unidentified butch lesbian were at the forefront of the street rebellion. But a few facts seem certain.
It was often larger than the other identifying triangles so as to allow homosexuals to be avoided and singled out at a distance. Between 10,000 and 600,000 gay men and women died in the Holocaust. In the 1970s, gay liberation groups resurrected the pink triangle as a popular symbol for the gay rights movement.
Not only is the symbol easily recognized, but it draws attention to oppression and persecution -- then and now. Today, for many the pink triangle represents pride, solidarity, and a promise to never allow another Holocaust to happen again.
Friday, April 23, 2004
Being warm and full
Being satiated with the joy
That comes from love
It is the heat of the heart
The smell of warm food for the mind
For the body, for the soul
It is knowing you are wanted
It is knowing the future will be good
It is the eternal state of bliss
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Saturday, April 17, 2004
One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How come?
2) Manhole Covers
Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?
This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle which can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.
3) The Deadly Party
A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?
4) Trouble with Sons
A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?
5) The Man in the Bar
A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.
This puzzle has claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.
Click here for the answers.
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts -- although still silent -- stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing....
If your home telephone's "PAGER" button is its most used and valued feature — helping locate a misplaced cordless handset — you'll wonder how you ever lived without Sharper Image Design's® universal pager system, "Now You Can Find It!"® This upgraded version now includes eight RF receiver discs that beep and flash to help you quickly and easily locate a missing object.
Just attach one of the eight RF receiver flashing beeper discs to any of those elusive objects that seem to wander off by themselves. When an item is lost, just press its corresponding button on the portable radio-frequency transmitter base and carry it from room to room. The receiver disc flashes and beeps with varied cadence when the base gets within 40 feet of the wayward item.
Each flashing beeper disc secures to virtually any object with its keyring or double-sided adhesive pad; write a name or apply a sticker for each item opposite its button on the portable base. The discs and buttons are color-coded; additionally, they're coded with Braille-like bumps so someone with limited vision who's lost his or her eyeglasses can use this system.
The base comes with a magnetic mounting bracket that attaches to a metal surface, such as a refrigerator or a filing cabinet. The base unit itself will start beeping if it hasn't been returned to the bracket within six minutes — so it won't be misplaced!
*The Sharper Image
Click here for The Sharper Image Coupon page!
Winerr 000 - Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything
Winerr 001 - Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly
Winerr 002 - Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet)
Winerr 003 - RAM Depleted; Annex Japan (Y/N)?
Winerr 004 - Deluxe Error. Please Send $75 to Upgrade Your Error
Winerr 005 - Long File Name Error; Tape Erased to Make Room for Filename
Winerr 006 - Insufficient RAM to Crash Properly; Attempting Fake Crash
Winerr 007 - Alphanumeric Sequence "OS2" Prohibited
Winerr 008 - This License Has Expired; Please Purchase Another Copy
Winerr 009 - Error Buffer Overflow; Too Many Errors
Winerr 00A - Non-Microsoft Application Encountered
Winerr 00B - Push Error; Removing Files to Make Room for Advertisement
Winerr 00C - Windows Loaded Correctly This Time
Winerr 00D - User Error; Lemming Not Found
Winerr 00E - Open Standard Encountered; Attempting to Redmondize
Winerr 00F - Reserved for Future Coding Errors
Winerr 010 - Virus Error - Other Applications Will Be Closed Instead
Winerr 011 - Orwell Not Found; You Must Use MSN
Winerr 012 - Cash Underflow - Credit Card Number Will Be Assimilated
Winerr 013 - Keyboard Error; User Must Learn to Slow Down
Winerr 014 - User Error; Reading License Agreement Mandatory to Continue
Winerr 015 - Error Message Deleted
Winerr 016 - Expected Error Did Not Occur; Attempting to Restart Error Sequence
Winerr 017 - Multitasking Attempted; System Confused
Winerr 018 - Network Error - Your Crash Will Be Replicated to All Stations
Winerr 019 - Freedom-of-Choice Error; Select a Microsoft Browser To Continue
Winerr 01A - Insult Detected -- Your Bill Gates Joke Will Be Deleted
Winerr 01B - Error Removing Temp File; a Permanent File Will Be Substituted
Winerr 01C - Wrong Disk Formatted. Sorry About That.
Winerr 01D - Mandatory Error Inserted to Meet Error Quota
Winerr 01E - Please Insert Your Favorite Error Here
Winerr 01F - Error In Progress; Please Wait....
Winerr 020 - Unknown Error Occurred But Was Lost. Windows Will Try To Remember
Winerr 021 - Error Parsing Error List; Please Wait For Next Error
Winerr 022 - Upgrade Error; Please Format Your Drive And Reload Everything
Friday, April 16, 2004
"The Scotia Father"
Then again, maybe I will just have to pay better attention, after all... it was the service charges from last month that I did not take into account.....
Thursday, April 15, 2004
This quote, (as much as I can remember), is as follows:
"I congratulate you on your 60 years of marriage. It is an accomplishment. But I must let everyone know, that the government is planning to change the definition of marriage, from one man and one woman...worse... they want to change it so that a man can marry another man and a woman can marry another woman..."
I told my friend, how strange is it that the one day in the last year I choose to try the RC's again and the Priest comes out with this! My friend, (A Catholic), answered quite candidly... "Hmmm.... aren't Priests married to the Church?" I found that quite profound and amusing...