Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Size Queens

The longest word in the Tamil language is:
animated mouth talkingபோகமுடியாதவர்களுக்காக - For the sake of people who are not able to go

The longest word in the Russian language is:
animated mouth talkingчеловеконенавистничество - meaning hatred of mankind

The longest word in the German language is:
animated mouth talkingDonaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän - "Danube steamship company captain."

The longest word in the English and ANY any language is:
animated mouth talking'Methionylthreonylthreonylglutaminylarginyl...isoleucine' is the chemical name of 'titin' (also known as 'connectin') - the largest known protein. It has 189,819 letters. Takes 3 hours or so to pronounce!


Say that 5 times fast!

Euphemistically Speaking

Euphemism
Whether you wish to assess your ability to replace an indelicate term with one that is inoffensive, or to brush up on the telling of the occasional polite lie, you may wish to avail yourself of the opportunity this humble quiz presents.

1. The tender hearted may use euphemisms in an attempt to courteously communicate that which is disagreeable. Your considerate and mild mannered companion is attempting to inform you that a dear friend of yours, having reached that inevitable hour, has shuffled off this mortal coil, crossing the river to reach his eternal reward. Since you seem perplexed, your companion is a bit more direct and informs you that your friend has "bought a pine condo".

What rude word describes the state of your dearly departed friend?

Hint: Four letters, beginning and ending in "d".

2. At times the use of an appropriate euphemism is mostly a matter of convention. Because euphemisms may evolve differently in different locations, at times one may have difficulty communicating an urgent physical need despite a shared language. Utilizing which of the following terms to request access to a toilet in an American restaurant is most likely to result in uncomfortable delays?

Bathroom
Lavatory
Washroom
WC

3. Linguists call the coining of a less offensive term for an offensive one "taboo deformation". However, not all alternate terms emphasize what is less distasteful. Which of the following would probably NOT be considered a more polite and genteel term for being drunk and hence not a euphemism for it?

Inebriated
Polluted
Tipsy
In one's cups

4. With time and usage, a term that was adopted as a less disagreeable substitute may begin to take on the same connotations as the originally more distasteful term. This leads to the coining of a new term. The process may repeat itself resulting in the development of a series of expressions for the one that originally offended. Which of the following terms came last?

Crippled
Handicapped
Disabled
Challenged

5. A euphemism may be intended to protect the speaker as well as (or even instead of) the hearer. This seems particularly true in matters of public relations. Which of the following is NOT a correct pairing of a euphemism with the item euphemized?

Jailhouse incident - prison riot
Friendly fire incident - mismanaged controlled burn
Collateral damage - civilian casualties
Sanitation workers labor action - garbage strike

6. Some have pointed out that in certain circumstances the word "euphemism" is itself a euphemism for another word that describes a common practice. What is the word for this practice?

hint: Three letters, starting with "L"

7. "Dysphemism" is an antonym for "euphemism". "Dysphemism" denotes the replacement of a more refined word with one that is coarser. Which of the following occupational dysphemisms is paired with the wrong occupation?

Quack - doctor
Pettifogger - politician
Bean counter - accountant
Grease monkey - mechanic

8. Some euphemisms depend on humor to remove the sting from the offensive term. Which of the following could NOT qualify as a lighthearted allusion to defective mental processing?

The wheel is spinning, but the hamster's dead
In reduced circumstances
Not firing on all cylinders
Knitting with only one needle

9. Some euphemisms may achieve humor without humor being the intent of the person coining the euphemism. In 1979, during the Three Mile Island nuclear reactor crisis, a reporter asked a power company spokesman what might happen if the hydrogen bubble inside the reactor came in contact with a spark. What did the company spokesman indicate the result might be?

A modest explosion
A spontaneous energetic disassembly (of the reactor)
An easily contained outburst
A theoretical scenario

10. Finally, I will give you an opportunity to make an educated guess regarding the phrase columnist John Leo chose as 'euphemism of the year' for the year ending in February 2004. Which of the following was it?

Mass presiders
Disposable mucus recovery systems
Wardrobe malfunction
Depopulate the bull calf operation

Click here, here or even here, for the answers

The Charge Of The Light Brigade

a favourite poem of The Wizard of 'OZ'
The Charge Of The Light Brigade
by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Memorializing Events in the Battle of Balaclava, October 25, 1854
Written 1854
The Charge Of The Light Brigade
I
Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
“Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns!” he said.
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

II
“Forward, the Light Brigade!”
Was there a man dismayed?
Not though the soldier knew
Someone had blundered.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die.
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

III
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volleyed and thundered;
Stormed at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of hell
Rode the six hundred.

IV
Flashed all their sabres bare,
Flashed as they turned in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wondered.
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right through the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reeled from the sabre stroke
Shattered and sundered.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

V
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volleyed and thundered;
Stormed at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell.
They that had fought so well
Came through the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

VI
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!

Are you sure you wanna eat these?

Otis Spunkmeyer Cinnamon Rolls
Otis Spunkmeyer Cinnamon Rolls
With a name like SPUNKmeyer, it's gotta be good!

--see Urban Dictionary
;-)

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Jack Schitt

Click here

NOTE: Not dirty, per se, but...It is a flash movie. Turn down volume in office, Children situations.

Click above

Anagrams

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

Man at desk

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

Man at desk

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

Man at desk


MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

Man at desk

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands!

Faith of the Heart - Pictures From Shuttle Discovery

Click here to see pictures from Space Shuttle Discovery

Click above

From The Wayback Machine - The MS-DOS 5 Upgrade Video - spoof!

Monday, August 22, 2016

World's Easiest Quiz

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What colour is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?

All done? To check your answers click here.

Old Time Radio Shows

Click here

They offer hundreds of vintage radio shows for you to listen to online in mp3 format, all for free. Before the days of video games, shopping malls, MTV, and the Internet, families used to sit in their living room each night to listen to radio shows such as Abbott and Costello, Superman, Groucho Marx, The Avenger, Gunsmoke, Sherlock Homes, and many others. When TV become popular in the 1950's, most of these shows went off the air, but they now live on at websites such as this one and on weekly nostalgia radio broadcasts worldwide.

Click on the picture above

Minitube - One of The Wizard's Favourite Apps

The following article was written by The Wizard of 'OZ' and sent for inclusion to "Full Circle Magazine"

MINITUBE

I have been using Linux since Jaunty. I was wanting to try Ubuntu, but was tethered to Windows. But when I received a nice widescreen all in one I took the plunge. Never have looked back and am enjoying Xenial (16.04 LTS)

I have quite a few programs that I run on my PC, so many of them equal to or better than their Windows/MAC counterparts. The choices out there are so great, it's hard to write about just one. My favourite part is being able to get an application for free, test it, keep it or look for another that suits me better,

So I managed to whittle this down. I am writing about Minitube. You hooked on youtube? This app is for you. I use this app daily and its the one entertainment app I would miss.

The interface is super simple with just three buttons to get you going, Search, Browse and Subscriptions. The search screen is simple and minimalistic, with auto complete helping you save keyboard clicks.
Minitube search
Minitube search
Browse allows you to look at what's trending on Youtube, split into clickable categories. I actually don't use the browse function as I don't usually just surf YouTube, as I usually know what I'm looking for, so i use Search and Subscriptions buttons.
Minitube browse
Minitube browse
So you search for what you want to watch, and when you click on the result; it opens in the main Subscription window. If you would like to save this and other videos by the same creator, just click Video in top menu and “subscribe” to the creator. All videos available for that author, and on the subscription page an thumbnail will appear and it will have a numbered notification of unwatched videos by that creator.

When you then choose the thumbnail, all videos will be on the left with a thumbnail and the title, length etc.
Minitube subscriptions
Minitube subscriptions
Playback can be set to auto or manual. I use manual as I don't necessarily want to watch all videos in order newest to oldest. Or not at all. So I choose manual. I also set playback to 720P, as that works well with my 23 inch display, and standard video card, GeForce 9300M. The video is crisp even full screen mode. (Of course if the video is recorded at very low resolution, it likely won't get any better, though in my daily use that is rare)
Minitube playback
Minitube playback

Minitube full screen
Minitube full screen
Though this is not an application exclusively for Linux, (it's ported for Windows), It is still free, but not “free as in Beer” You accept the agreement and can donate if you like. I paid $10. I use it daily.

I wholeheartedly recommend this simple, but effective application.

Download http://flavio.tordini.org/minitube
Full Circle Magazine

Unusual... to say the least....

Floating Toilet
Floating Toilet

Good Luck! You'll need it!
Good Luck! You'll need it!

No Peeing in the pool!
No Peeing in the pool!

Is there any other kind?
Is there any other kind?

Sunday, August 21, 2016

1919 Poster - Priceless

If you were around in 1919 (just before prohibition started)
and came upon the following poster.........

1919 Poster - Priceless

I mean seriously, Would you quit drinking?

The Complete Guide To Troubleshooting Beer

Click here for the guide

Click above for the Beer Trouble-Shooting Guide

Unlikely dorm room posters

Teletubbies Poster

Tom Cruise Poster

Weather Guys Poster

Sulu Poster

Body By French's Poster

Jacko and E.T. Poster

Would you like fries with that? Poster

Wesley Crusher - Will Wheaton Poster

Bush Poster

Not 2 Poster

Bea Arthur Posters

Colo-rectal Surgeon Sing-a-long

Start by downloading the song by clicking here. It is a .wav file, so if it doesn't open your default music player, save it to your disk and then open it from there.
Start singing when the song starts!

Colo-rectal Surgeon

We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine



Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave



When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows...
He'll get you in the end!



Why the colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?



When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."



He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!



Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!

*Been told it's by Bowser and Blue